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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605395">Wanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeelsBae/pseuds/BeelsBae'>BeelsBae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asmo is Soft, Cheating, Explicit Language, F/M, Kissing, No Sex, Not actually smut?, Nudity, Reader-Insert, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Sexual Content, just a lot of angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:36:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeelsBae/pseuds/BeelsBae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>MC is in a relationship with one of the demon brothers, but things haven’t exactly been easy lately, and a lack of physical intimacy brings MC to Asmo in tears. </p><p>Super angsty, sad MC. I don’t think this qualifies as smut, haha. It will if I add a second chapter.</p><p>CW: Relationship Issues, Self-Image/Confidence Issues, Cheating, Discussion of Sexual Incompatibility</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wanted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is sad-hours MC. You've been warned. But like, for real. </p><p>Repeating Here: </p><p>CW: Relationship Issues, Self-Image/Confidence Issues, Cheating, Discussion of Sexual Incompatibility</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You throw yourself into Asmo’s room in a whirlwind of embarrassed tears, slamming the door behind you. Asmo starts, looking up from his position at his vanity, pink robe tied over silk underclothes, eyeliner pencil in hand.</p><p>“Well good evening to you, too, MC.” Asmo says, setting down his pencil with a frown. “What—are you okay?”</p><p>If your tear-stained cheeks aren’t enough to give you away, the redness of your eyes and your clenched fists are. You’re breathing shakily, shallowly, as you stare Asmo down from across the room, your eyes hot with hurt.</p><p>“MC, what’s wrong?” Asmo says, hurriedly making his way to your side and attempting to hold your hands in his. You shy away from his touch, but not before Asmo registers the clammy sweat on your palms and the way your hands shake. “What happened? Please, tell me.”</p><p>You brush past Asmo to his bed, taking a seat on the edge, grateful for the chance to rest your wobbly legs. You hadn’t meant to literally <em>run</em> to his room, but your steps had followed one another faster and faster, until you were sprinting down the last hallway and through the door. You’re not sure if running has made it easier or harder to control the sobs that threaten to break out of your chest. At least the pounding in your ears drowns out the worst of the strained breaths you manage through a throat that feels like it’s closing.</p><p>“Sweetheart, please.” Asmo comes to you quickly, kneeling on the floor in front of you and resting his hands on your knees. “You’re scaring me!”</p><p>Asmo’s beautiful face is so concerned that you feel guilty for bringing yourself to him like this. You almost suck it up and tell him it’s nothing. You almost make up a lie about getting in a fight with Levi or being lectured by Lucifer. You almost hold everything in, swallow everything down, so that you don’t have to say it. Almost. But the words are already forcing themselves out. </p><p>“He doesn’t want me.” You whisper hoarsely.</p><p>Asmo blinks his long lashes up at you, confusion wrinkling his pretty brow. “Who doesn’t, kitten?” He thinks for a moment about who you could mean, and his stomach suddenly drops. If this is about what he thinks it is…</p><p>“Your brother.” You choke out, making fists in Asmo’s bed coverings with white knuckles. “He doesn’t…want me.”</p><p>It <em>is</em> that, then.</p><p>Asmo sighs heavily, getting up from his crouched position to join you on the bed. The mattress dips as he sits next to you and slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, wary of the way you seem to flinch at his touch. You feel fragile – it worries him. “What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing really,” You reply, trying to convince yourself as you take a steadying breath. “I just… did something I shouldn’t have. I made a mistake.” </p><p>Asmo watches you closely, trying to feel out your emotions. You’ve been seeing his brother for a while, now, and this isn’t the first time you’ve come to Asmo to talk through some of the issues the two of you have. It started out with small complaints here and there during a study session: he doesn’t really kiss me, he doesn’t like if I’m too flirty with him. And then a remark while out shopping at Majolish, when Asmo had picked out some lingerie for you: <em>“But who would I wear it for?” </em></p><p>As the weeks went by, you’d confided in Asmo more, told him how your would-be lover never seemed to want to kiss you, to touch you. The news was not entirely unexpected for Asmo, who knows his brothers well, but he leant a sympathetic ear. He encouraged you to talk about it together, to make sure you are both on the same page.</p><p>And that was the last Asmo heard of it until you’d texted him one night to say that things were different, that you’d finally done<em> it</em>. That was news that Asmo <em>hadn’t </em>expected, and it had made him worry for you. Apparently, he was right to do so. </p><p>“What happened?” Asmo prompts again.</p><p>“I just—I thought…” You can feel warm tears begin to splash down your cheeks again. “I thought he felt the same way. I mean, we’ve...” <em>God</em>, <em>this is embarrassing</em>. So what if you did it once? That doesn’t mean that suddenly he’s going to <em>want </em>to, now, when he wasn’t interested before. <em>Obviously</em>. But you’d just <em>thought… </em> </p><p>“I know he’s said he doesn’t see me… like <em>that</em>.” Your tears and your words are falling quickly, now. “But then we <em>slept together</em>, Asmo, and I thought to myself, maybe it’s different now. Maybe now, he’ll want me. Maybe if I ask, he’ll say…”</p><p>Your cheeks are hot as you remember your rejection, the flood of hurt and embarrassment you’d felt when he’d looked at you indifferently, almost angrily, like you should’ve known better than to ask, better than to bother him. And yeah, you should have known.</p><p>“I’m s-so fucking stupid!” You say through tears. “The only reason he did it in the first place was because he was tired of me moping about it.”</p><p>Asmo squeezes your shoulders to him. “You’re not stupid, MC. He shouldn’t have slept with you if that was his reason.” But of course, his brother does want to make you happy. He’d try, just for you.</p><p>“But I <em>wanted </em>him to.” You turn your blotchy face up towards Asmo’s. “And it was <em>perfect. </em>And I knew—I could <em>tell</em>—that it was different, that he could want me.”</p><p>“Sweetheart…” Asmo’s free hand comes to wipe the tears from your cheeks with a gentle thumb.</p><p>“Asmo, what’s wrong with me?” Your puffy eyes search his for an answer. “Why doesn’t he want me?”</p><p>“I don’t know, kitten.” Asmo says quietly, his own chest aching at the sight of you so distraught. “But nothing’s wrong with you.” He wipes the last of your tears from your cheek.</p><p>“When I was with him, just now, he…” You close your eyes, face heating with shame. “He hates that I want him. He <em>hates</em> it.” You bite your lip to keep from crying again. </p><p>“Don’t be so hard on yourself, MC. I’m sure he doesn’t <em>hate-” </em></p><p>“He told me he <em>dreads </em>being alone with me, Asmo.” Your hurt is turning into anger, and you blink back tears to look up into Asmo’s amber eyes again. “He actually used that word, and I <em>still</em> can’t just leave him alone. I still keep convincing myself that something will change, that <em>he’ll </em>change…”</p><p>Asmo chews his lip in frustration. There’s a reason you keep going back to his brother, after all. He’s been clear with you, yes, but he’s also stolen his fair share of kisses while rejecting your advances, knowing you’d let him. He’s indulged in you sporadically, when the mood suits him, because you let him. And because, Asmo’s convinced, his brother thinks that it’s what you want. But it isn’t what you want, because you’re here, in his room, hurting so badly. Asmo’s arm around you tightens.</p><p>“I know it’s not fair to him, but I can’t stop <em>wanting </em>him. It’s so fucking <em>pathetic!</em>” You practically spit, dropping your head against Asmo’s shoulder with a fresh sob. </p><p>Asmo shushes you gently, his hand coming up to pet your hair. There was a time when he’d truly wished you’d pick him over his brother, but he's become close to you in a different way since then, and Asmo doesn’t regret it.</p><p>“What can I do for you, kitten?” Asmo asks softly as you cry into his shoulder.</p><p>You let the tears run their course and take a deep breath or three before replying, sniffling and soaking in Asmo’s patient silence for a moment. You hate that you need what you do. You hate that your need is hurting not just you, but the one you love the most. If only you could find a way to turn it off, or shut it out, or fix it, or spend it, until there’s nothing left – or at least, not enough left to bother anyone. </p><p> <em>Maybe...</em> </p><p>“Want me.” You mumble against Asmo’s shoulder into the fabric of his robe, heart pounding.</p><p>There’s no response from Asmo, and the silence is both terrifying and hopeful. Are you really asking this of Asmo? Is this really why you ran almost all the way here? Are you this needy, this desperate, this <em>selfish</em>? You push closer to his body, snaking your arms around the demon’s slim waist. You cling to him, tightening your embrace until your face is pressed into the crook of his neck. “Or let me want you,” You breathe hotly against his skin. “Please. Just this once.”</p><p>Pulse racing anxiously, you tentatively press your lips to Asmo’s neck. His skin is so soft, so flawless, and you think you can feel him give slightly, allowing your fumbling kisses to continue. So, you do, carefully placing one fragile kiss after another as you climb into Asmo’s lap. Can he feel how badly you need this? Can he understand? Your own questions drown you in a flood of self-loathing and pity. <em>Of course he can’t</em>, you remind yourself. <em>Everyone adores Asmo. He has no idea what it feels like to be… unwanted</em>.</p><p>Your lips freeze against Asmo’s skin, and you seem to stand outside of yourself, at the sorry sight you must make, grabbing at him, throwing yourself on him, so desperately needy. You pull back, closing your eyes to fight the nausea that bubbles up when you consider what it is you’re doing, what you’re asking. Asmo may be a flirt, but he doesn’t deserve this. Fuck, you really are disgusting.</p><p>“Sorry.” You apologize, eyes still closed. Your voice sounds like someone else’s, too light, too carefree – empty. You shrink away from Asmo’s warmth, slipping off his lap and back to your spot beside him on the bed, drawing your arms in towards yourself, hiding. <em>At least I stopped before he had to stop me. </em>You tell yourself, taking a deep breath to fight off the feeling that the room is spinning. <em>At least I didn’t make him say it…</em></p><p>
  <em>“I don’t want you like that.”</em>
</p><p>The words still ring in your ears, drowning out the present with their hurt. <em>At least I didn’t make him say it…</em></p><p>You shove yourself off the bed and onto unsteady feet, planning to go back to your room, or take a shower, or do anything but stay here and let Asmo watch you wallow in self-pity. But something closes around your wrist, and you’re stuck, unable to move. You stand there, trapped. Waiting.</p><p>It hurts Asmo deeply to see you this way. You’re like a wilted flower, he thinks, all the life gone out of you. It almost makes him sick to see it; you reflect something in himself that Asmo never faces. But how can that be? After all, everyone loves him! He’s the most beautiful demon in all the realms. He shouldn’t be able to relate to your pain, not really. But… he does know <em>a little </em>of what it’s like, doesn’t he? To <em>need </em>to be desired. Admired. Cherished. Loved. <em>Wanted</em>.</p><p>You feel a tug on your wrist as Asmo pulls you back towards him, until you’re standing between his knees in front of his place on the bed. With one hand, Asmo reaches to your face, and you keep your eyes closed tight when his palm cups your cheek, clenching your jaw tightly. You’ll be stupid, if you’re not careful. You’ll take this innocent, sympathetic touch to mean you’re wanted.</p><p>“Kitten, don’t apologize.” Asmo says, glad that you’ve closed your eyes. He’s not sure that his face is comforting right now, the way his emotions are playing out on his face. </p><p>“Well, I am sorry.” You say, opening your eyes when Asmo’s hand drops away from your cheek, trusting yourself to glance at him again. Sorry to have put this on him, on his brother, on everyone you’ve ever asked to love you. You stay standing in front of him, waiting for Asmo to say something. You’re exhausted, and there’s no energy to run from this, to hide from it, to bury it. </p><p>Asmo wants to help you, of course he does. He has to do <em>something </em>for you. But seeing you now, so broken, has his heart beating quickly, like he’s getting ready to run – from you, from your pain, from the part of himself he sees reflected in you. Is this what his own need looks like? The demon shakes his head slightly, frowning. Certainly not. He could never be something so…</p><p>“Asmo?”</p><p>“Hm?” Asmo looks up at you, his expression difficult to read. “Oh, sorry, MC.” He says, letting go of your wrist.</p><p>Asmo thinks for a moment. If he’s going to help, he’ll need to get you out of this headspace you’re stuck in. You need to know that he’s here for you, and that your desire isn’t a burden, not to him.</p><p>“Is it alright if we take it slowly?” Asmo asks kindly. “I’m in no hurry.” He reaches out to cup your chin up with one hand, guiding you so that your bright, puffy eyes are focused on him.</p><p>“S-slowly?” You ask, captivated by Asmo’s lovely eyes framed by light lashes. You’re pretty sure he’s turned on the charm, and even if it doesn’t affect you the same way, there’s something powerful in his gaze. </p><p>“In fact, I’d rather not rush things, if I’m being honest.” Asmo adds warmly.</p><p>“Wh-what do you mean?” You ask, feeling an anxious flutter in your chest.</p><p>Asmo stands, hand still cupping your chin. “MC, I’ve wanted this for a very long time.”</p><p>Your heart stops for a moment as you try to grasp what Asmo’s saying. He <em>wants </em>you? He did say that… right?</p><p>“You mean…?”</p><p>“Leave it to me.” Asmo says with an encouraging smile. “Let’s try to relax a bit, yes?”</p><p>You nod, not quite comprehending, and before you know it, Asmo’s directing you to sit on the bed while he begins fussing around the room, gathering a few mysterious items from his various drawers and fishing around for something in his wardrobe. You’re too self-conscious to observe the things he sets on the night stand beside the bed, but you do watch him light several candles around the room before he puts out the brighter lights. The pleasant glow is pretty romantic, you have to admit, but instead of putting you at ease, it’s making you nervous, expectant. </p><p><em>Just relax… </em>You tell yourself, trying not to indulge in the feeling of anticipation that grows as Asmo glides around the room, lovely in his pink robe and slippered feet. You remember, now, that he seemed to be making up his face when you came in, and you wonder guiltily if he had been preparing to go out. <em>Selfish</em>. Why is that all you ever seem to be?</p><p>Asmo ruffles through a final drawer, pulling out a long, silk robe. He wonders if you’ll have the confidence you need to wear it, but if there’s one thing that can help put you back on your feet, it’s feeling good about yourself.</p><p>“I’d like to ask you to wear this,” Asmo says, walking back to you with the robe in hand. “But only if you’re comfortable. Plus, I think it would help us sidestep all the awkwardness of undressing.” He winks at you. </p><p>You stare at the pretty embroidered garment and feel that tightness in your chest again. It’s beautiful, gorgeous, and even though it’s opaque and long-sleeved, you feel as it might be too much for you. When’s the last time you wore something for someone else? Has anyone ever asked you to before? Has anyone ever <em>wanted </em>you to? You swallow, feeling fragile again.</p><p>“I don’t know, Asmo.” You murmur, reaching out a hand to pet the luxurious fabric. “But it’s beautiful.” </p><p>“You’re beautiful.” Asmo replies seriously. </p><p>You glance up to see him looking at you clearly – not flirtatiously, not teasingly, just honestly.</p><p>“Please wear it.” Asmo says softly, holding out the robe to you. “For me?” </p><p>You take the folded robe from his hands and let it rest in your lap, running your finger over the pretty embroidery again. “I guess I could… try it on.” You say, trying to convince yourself. “You… want me to wear it?”</p><p>“I think you’d look stunning, sweetheart.” Asmo says. “So yes, I want you to wear it.”</p><p>You glance up at his warm eyes. Asmo’s always been one to push your boundaries just the right amount, to make sure you take care of yourself, to help you try new things. So, it’s funny, but despite your lack of confidence, despite the fact that he’s the most beautiful demon in the Devildom and you’re just a regular, sad little human, you believe him. “Okay.”</p><p>Asmo ushers you into his private bath adjacent to his bedroom and waits for you on the other side of the door. “Take your time!” He sing-songs.</p><p>As he waits, Asmo takes stock of his bedroom; nothing ruins the mood like a messy room. He hadn’t been expecting your company today, but the place is tidy enough. Walking over to the vanity mirror to make sure he’s at his best, Asmo spots a selfie of the two of you tucked into the frame. You’d insisted on printing both of you copies, and you’d even written a little note on the back of his: <em>To the most beautiful, fun, fabulous demon I know! I always smile brighter with you~ &lt;3 </em></p><p>Asmo appraises himself in the mirror, suddenly feeling nervous, excited. He inspects his face closely and runs a brush through his hair. When’s the last time he felt anxious before entertaining a lover? Asmo sighs, loosening his robe just the right amount and brushing the fabric smooth with his hands. You’re not <em>really </em>his lover. Still, the thought of being with you is giving him butterflies. It’s true what he said, that he’s wanted this for a long time. So, if the two of you are going to do this, Asmo thinks, he wants everything to be perfect. </p><p>In the bathroom, you try to avoid Asmo’s floor-length mirror while you change. If you look at yourself too closely, you’ll lose your nerve and ditch, and you don’t want to do that to Asmo, not when he’s being so kind to you. Plus, you’re excited, too, even if you’re afraid to admit it. The thought of being with someone, being close like that… You exhale sharply, trying to pull yourself together so that you can at least <em>pretend </em>you’re not about to become a needy mess. You slip on the robe, letting the smooth fabric drape over you and tying the belt around your waist. <em>Asmo wants to see me in this</em>, you remind yourself as self-doubt seeps into the corners of your thoughts<em>.</em> The robe does feel nice, but it doesn’t really feel like you. Still, you’re wearing it for Asmo, so you take a deep breath as you head back into the bedroom.</p><p>Asmo greets you immediately, his hands finding your arms as he pulls you closer to him, giving you a look with his big amber eyes that makes your heart skip a beat.</p><p>“See? I told you! You’re stunning.” Asmo purrs, giving you a kiss on the cheek. His lips tickle coolly against your flushed face, feather-light.<br/>
<br/>
“Thanks,” You mutter, embarrassed. Having Asmo’s attention on you like this is almost too much. “I’m glad you like it.”</p><p>“I love it!” Asmo gushes, taking a step back to look you over. You seem like you’re not sure you belong in the garment, but that doesn’t detract from the overall effect it’s having on him. Asmo’s cheeks heat as he pulls you close again, his hands gravitating to your hips.</p><p>“You know,” Asmo says, his mouth moving towards your ear. “I may flirt with everyone, but I only fuck people I like.”</p><p>His words make your stomach dip, as if you’re just now fully understanding what’s about to happen. Sex. With Asmo. The Avatar of Lust.</p><p>Asmo giggles, pulling back to see the cute expression you’re making. “And you know, I like you the best, MC.” He says, smiling to put you at ease. </p><p>You swallow, trying to come back from your brief moment of excited panic. “Asmo… you don’t have to…”</p><p>“Trust me when I say that I <em>want </em>to, dear.” Asmo says, and something you see in his eyes tells you he means it. </p><p>You feel Asmo’s hands on your hips, warm and steady, and you know that you want this, too. There’s already a heat between your legs and a stuttering heartbeat in your chest. <em>Sex. With Asmo</em>. And he <em>wants </em>you.</p><p>“I know I said I wanted us to take our time, kitten,” Asmo says, his arms slipping further around you. “But you’re looking irresistible tonight.”</p><p>Slowly, Asmo leans in to press his lips against yours, warm and generous. You gasp as his hands deftly slip beneath your robe, cool and light, and Asmo uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss. Asmo’s movements are self-assured, easy, like it’s so natural for the two of you to be together this way. And it <em>does </em>feel right, you admit to yourself as you touch Asmo, running your hands along his shoulders and down his slim torso, pushing his robe off shyly and dropping it to the floor. Right and <em>good</em>…</p><p>As Asmo guides the two of you towards his bed, you’re struggling to respond, every breath that he breathes against your mouth making your heart jump erratically. You’re surprised by how quickly he’s moving, but then again, physical intimacy comes naturally to Asmo, and now you only hope you can keep up.</p><p>When Asmo pushes you back onto the bed, you reach out for his arms, searching for something to hold onto as the demon climbs over you, on top of you. His hands are soft, careful, and yet so swift that he’s gotten you out of your robe and in nothing but your panties before you can realize what he’s doing. You’re already flushed, feverish, responding so quickly to his touch that it’s embarrassing. A few kisses on your lips and cool fingers on your torso shouldn’t make you feel so hot so quickly, but Asmo’s touch is lighting you up, like you’re burning from the inside out with every nearly innocent caress of his hands against your skin.</p><p>“A-Asmo,” You stutter breathlessly, throat dry, as he pursues your mouth relentlessly. If he doesn’t slow down, you’re going to be a melting mess before this goes much further.</p><p>“What is it, kitten?” Asmo purrs with another sensual kiss.  </p><p>“I just—this is a lot for me.” You admit. You can guess what you must look like, as desperate and worked up as you are. Your chest is heaving, your heart pounding. It’s pathetic enough that you’ve basically thrown yourself at him, it’s not fair that your body is telling him just how touch-starved you’ve been lately. </p><p>“Too much?” Asmo asks, catching his breath and trying to hide a pout; this isn’t the time to get selfish with you. It had taken him all of one taste of your mouth to know that he’d made the right decision; your body is warm, your lips are soft, and <em>oh</em>, those eyes that try to evade him are bright with desire. He’s <em>so </em>ready to love you like this. </p><p>“Maybe?” You ask yourself and him, redirecting your eyes to Asmo’s face. “I’m not really used to the attention.” </p><p>“But tell me, kitten, are you <em>enjoying </em>the attention?” Asmo asks teasingly, a curve to his lips. </p><p>You blush harder, knowing he must be well aware that you’re enjoying yourself so far. “Yes.” </p><p>“Then don’t be embarrassed, dear.” Asmo says lightly. “There’s no such thing as enjoying attention <em>too much</em>.” </p><p>Asmo’s mouth is back on yours before you can reply, and you moan softly, delighted by the way his tongue seeks out yours. The way his hands move over you is sensuous, smooth, and you can’t believe you’re really feeling them on your body for the first time. Asmo touches you like he knows you, like he’s always known you, and it’s making you want to lose control, to let him have as much as he wants for as long as he wants. </p><p>When he feels you softly bite his lip, something finally clicks for Asmo. He’d taken your word for it and assumed the attention was overwhelming because you’re unused to physical affection. But… that’s not the whole story, is it? Asmo slips a hand to your bared breast, and you moan, looking up at him with desire thinly veiled behind half-lidded eyes. No, you’re not a shy, sensitive thing; you’re a vixen, a passionate, eager lover – and you’re holding yourself back. </p><p>“MC,” Asmo croons as your fingers wrap around his slender biceps. “You aren’t holding out on me, are you?” </p><p>Your eyes open wide, taking in Asmo’s perfectly charming smile. “W-what?”</p><p>“Sweetheart, I know when someone <em>wants </em>something,” Asmo says, emphasizing the word. “And there’s something you want desperately. A lot of somethings, I think~” </p><p>“N-no,” You deny it on impulse. Since when has admitting you want something ever gotten you the thing you wanted? </p><p>“Why, kitten?” Asmo asks, voice dangerously soft as he peers down at you. “Why are you lying to me?”</p><p>“I’m…” You mean to say <em>not</em>, but you can’t quite make yourself lie to him. <em>Pathetic</em>, is the next word that comes to mind. <em>Needy</em>. </p><p>“What is it you want?” Asmo says more gently, studying your downturned eyes. “Be honest with me, like you always are.” He frowns. You’re… afraid. Afraid to tell him what you want in case he doesn’t accept it, in case he doesn’t want you, too. He’ll have to convince you that he does. </p><p>You hate your neediness, because it makes you weak. You take what Asmo’s brother gives you when he’s willing to give it because you can’t <em>not</em>. And even here, with Asmo, you feel pathetic asking for what you want, what you need.</p><p>“You don’t have to hide your desire from me,” Asmo says, coming back down to you for a gentle kiss. “But if you don’t tell me what you’re looking for, I’ll just have to have my way with you, won’t I?” </p><p>You make a small sound as Asmo’s lips meet your neck, pressing delicately, seductively. “Y-your way?” You murmur, gasping when Asmo gives your ear a light nibble. </p><p>“There are <em>so </em>many things I want to do to you.” Asmo whispers into your ear, breath hot. </p><p>“Asmo...” You moan quietly, clinging to him with arms wrapped around his body. It’s not even the most forward comment Asmo’s ever made to you, but it’s different when your nearly naked bodies are pressed together in his bedsheets, his lips at your throat, his hard length against your thigh. </p><p>And suddenly, it’s so easy, so clear what you want. You didn’t come to Asmo because he was voted most-likely-to-fuck-anything-that-moves in the RAD student yearbook. You didn’t come to him because he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your life. You didn’t come to him because you’re desperate and lonely and needy. No, you realize, you sought Asmo out because you trust him. Because you care for him, and you know he cares for you. </p><p>“I want to feel close to you,” You whisper while Asmo’s lips caress your neck, not sure what you’re about to confess. “I want to be with you, to know you, like this.” Your heart is beating so fast. Why does this feel like something you should’ve said a long time ago? </p><p>“Hm, that doesn’t sound like something you need to be shy about, dear~” Asmo says, pulling back to meet your gaze.</p><p>“Asmo, I want to make you feel good, a-and to know that you want me to do it.” Your voice shakes a little, betraying your longing. It feels so natural to touch him and be touched by him. It feels safe, and right, and so, <em>so </em>good, like you and Asmo were always meant to love each other in this way. “And I want to feel good, too, without feeling bad about it. Without feeling like I’m… begging…” </p><p>Asmo’s heart aches. You’re desperate for validation, for someone to want you and to tell you it’s okay to want what you want, too. <em>This </em>is something he can work with. “Sweetheart,” Asmo murmurs. “I want that too. I don’t want you to hold back with me.” </p><p>They’re the words you want to hear. “Asmo…” </p><p>“Do you love me?” </p><p>His question surprises you. “You know I do.” You reply honestly, confused. </p><p>“Then show me,” Asmo whispers, kissing you heatedly and pressing his body close to yours. “Please. In all the ways you want to.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I love that it’s canon that Asmo calls MC ‘kitten,’ so I’m going to overuse it forever, ty.<br/>Anyway, I love Asmo. Also, I might surprise myself and write a second chapter, but who can say.<br/>Also (again), this is a very personal piece for me, so I might not reply to any comments, but please don't feel like I'm ignoring you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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